when a baby knocks on your door…


March 24, 2006 

  I just remembered a story this morning.


It’s a story about my last boyfriend. Our relationship lasted for about 2 years ++ (just can’t remember the months and minutes, though).  Johannes and I are a couple in 2003 but our relationship is hidden beyond the eyes of society. (it’s forbidden, of course)


We just manage to see each other from 12:30PM to 2AM, twice or thrice a week and we do what every couple’s do


…have SEX…(kidding)

…share our problems

…watch TV

…what happen this day.


Like any other ordinary couple do.


In 2004…he got a story that shakes my knees.  Nakabuntis siya daw siya. He was so afraid


Gulong gulo ang isip niya

Hindi pa siya handa…



But because it’s a logical thing to do …to raise the kid EVEN BOTH PARENTS ARE NOT READY …they still have had the baby.


As hard it may seem, Johannes accepted his own dilemma.  His boyish looks turns different each day.  As if he is carrying the world in his shoulders.  Innocence can no longer be found in his eyes.


Days pass.  He shares tales of how irresponsible the mother was. Mga araw na ayaw niyang makita ang sarili niyang anak.  Isang pagkakamali.


Until one day I ask him… ‘bakit tinuloy niyo pa ni Grace yung bata kung sa bandang huli, iisipin mong nagkamali kayo?’


He grunted for a response.  Conceal thy lips with a kiss.  He said, ‘dahil di ba…yun ang dapat gawin.’  How about the child? Hindi niya naman siguro kasalanan na isinilang siya sa parehong maling magulang…


If I were the kid…

If i had only the choice….

I would choose na wag na lang ipanganak.



He never responded but rather … hold me tighter.  Warmer than usual and he hushes ‘If only I could be with you…’


He kisses me as if the night will never cease the day.

Passionate kisses…


Our relationship lasted December 2005…


The reason: but not because of the child (remember he had a child in 2004, the relationship lasted 2005)


I can’t help but wonder.  Could you straighten up a mistake by simply doing the next logical thing that society dictates?


Isn’t it conflicting, you tried the digest something at the end of the day you would simply regret everything you have done. If both parties are not ready…why bear the child? I’ve seen a lot faces and scenarios that both parties had a mistake, but yet, dahil ito raw ang tama, dapat pangatawanan




The girl had another male text mate which she is infatuated with.

The man also had another girl

The girl began to be arrogant and suspicious – nagger in short

The man drinks away his sorrows

The child remains in the middle…

And when he/she turns 18, he/she fights back!

Starts to argue


I may not have a child but I have four lovely nieces.  But it should be five because the eldest died.  My sister said ‘di kasi plano na magka-baby’.  Her husband does not have fix income and he has ‘second thought’s’ about the baby.  My sister tried to conceal her pregnancy by wearing tight pants until the 7th month came.  My mom knew even before she reveals that she is pregnant.  On the 8th month, my sister gave birth prematurely.


After 2 weeks, the baby boy died.  They even forgot to give a name.


My sister confesses that right before the first month, they were toying with the fact na wag na lang ituloy dahil pareho silang hindi handa.  Ika nga nila, itlog pa lang naman  Ang mas masakit siguro, nang itinuloy yung bata, Nawala rin sa kanila yung munting anghel.  Sabi na ate ko, dala marahil ng sobrang pag-iisip kaya nagging mahina yung bata.


Which is true, as what her OB told her.


‘And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!’ Shakespeare (Hamlet)

2 thoughts on “when a baby knocks on your door…

  1. I agree with you that in such cases only child has suffered a lot because both of them have new partners but what about child. No one bother about him. So before having kid think about it twice that whether you are able to take the responsibility.

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