rainy days and blunders




July 23, 2006


Rainy days brings me such tremendous sadness. I don’t know why but it does give me such awful feeling of utter loneliness that I cant describe in just one word.


It has to be a series of thoughts that kinda show my weakness. 


And I hate it!


Im not comfortable showing the world how much vulnerable am i.  The negativity succumb me that all I can do is just play sad tunes in my head.


Maybe, because that rainy days gave us that certain coldness….

— that only the warmth of tender arms could ease out the chill.


 As the rain starts to pour and drizzle along my window, I cant help but look back on my lousy love life.  Then my insecurities about myself once again visits my blue room.


i have to face a devil I have long hidden in a show box and posted to some of my friends that I knew in times like this…would hear me out and maybe in one or another could help me answer some of weary questions.




In the fast pace of technology, we build relationships through email and text messages…


Im no different from the rest …

I found myself dwindled and often confused at the crossroads of fantasy and truth…


I have met this guy through this site – but through PRIVATE MESSAGES. He emailed me about a reaction which i have posted in this thread and there starts a conversation….


i have yet to meet him next week but my feelings grew stronger by the minute. i dont want to let him know that im falling for him because basically  through our conversations, i knew from the start that he only want one thing from me…. ONS. (one night stand)


he is smart and almost about my age but on how he approach and ask things about me, it seems indirectly saying S.E.X. at all times….


do i have that word written on my forehead…


he do have his own mobile but doesnt really like to text…(his not fond of texting as what he told me)…


And our ONLY form of communication is via email!!!!


and then there is this guy way younger than me but he sort of show his feelings for me. Its not my cup of tea but he is so sweet… we just haven’t met personally.




unang una…LOVE CAN BE FOUND ANYWHERE…at madalas…sa mga lugar na hindi natin inaakala…tulad dito sa net…pero POSSIBLE un… this technology is able to bridge people together…and there had been countless testimonails from people finding love at the net.


but on the extreme… marami rin na ang hanap nila dito ay ung sabi mo nga ONS… its the lure of the flesh ie SEX ang sigurong unang humahatak sa mga tao kung bakit they stay connected sa net… and i would not deny… nung una.. un din ang hanap ko dito…


but i was able to overcome that….


anyway… wid your situation…ibalik ko sa iyo yung tanong mo sa akin kanina…




if not… say it.. i dont see anything wrong with it….


and makipagkita ka sa kanya… then from there… malalaman mo na siguro kung ano ang totoong nararamdaman mo para sa kanya..


kung papayag ka makipag ONS? sagot na brutal to dady…. Y NOT? hehehe


may nakapagsabi sakin before na madalas sinasabi ko na rin sa mga taong nakakasalamuha ko dito sa net.. and minsan sa txtmessaging din..




mali ang kontexto pero kung iisipin natin.. ang ibig sabihin.. wag kang maiinlab sa taong di mo pa nakikita.. at di pa lubusang nakikilala…



ROGER says: 

Master Bates, pag dating sa pag-ibig. all is thrown into the water. we lose our rational because we just like doing it. the challenge is to remain objective and just dont let go of one’s sanity.


Im delighted with such answers and they are right… in love, every logical term were thrown in to water including once sanity. I think I knew all the answers all along but maybe I just wanted other people to say it to me – just to validate the answers I tinkle all this time. I cant help but wonder…


will I really find true love or am I blinded by utter fantasy that I cant see true love….


How I hate the rainy days…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s