November 14, 2006 – How would you define Mr. Right?
Some of us would stick to the standards – ‘tall, dark and handsome’ and others would simply say ‘young handsome rich guy’. Others are far more specific that I come to realize that ‘gays’ like me are doomed from the very start of the ‘love race’. We have stereotyped ‘Mr. Right’, lay them in a bed of roses, put them in a box and display up high in the ‘altar’ complete with daffodils and ‘pink’ candles on both sides.
If we could only buy it online or choose from a male catalogue…I would gladly sign up and order one. Or a buffet table with ‘male ala carte’… ‘This one is to shabby, this one is too mealy, ill hate myself in the morning if Ill eat this one’ – Will Truman
I say we are doomed… Until he came along…Axel… a guy I have met through those regular EB’s. An evening in Malate, to be specific, while dining with friends from G4M.I still remember how my heart stops as he extends his hands introducing himself. As if ‘time’ stands still, mesmerized with this lovely man in front of me. His sweet smile and timid looks, wrapped with an enigma I have longed for a man….
SNAP! Fast forward to reality….
Mr. Right doesn’t have any interest with this flaky guy… (well…I just assume since I have lost my self-esteem ages ago) who stands like Frodo Baggins, a forehead as high as Mt. Everest and a chin as long as his arrogance – or let us just simply put it …‘ME’.
So I settled in admiring him from a distance and befriend ‘prince charming’…BUT a small problem existed most especially if I am a few inches beside him – a rather quick tightening on the ‘crotch division’. Well, his presence really ‘excites’ me in a lot of good ways…hehehehe.
Ika nga… ‘Wala kang itulak kabigin’ since he got everything in my ‘Mr. Right guide list’
2. taller than me
3. Not skinny
5. Soft spoken
6. A subtle and timid laugh
8. Older than me (like wine, they are better as they get old)
10. We run the same circle of friends
12. Acts and thinks with his age
13. Never judge someone else by the way they act or look
15. Remarkably dreamy eyes
17. A touch of naughtiness hehehehehe
18. And loads of other stuff I would gladly and willingly discover.
A man I never thought existed in the real world.
ALAS!!! A guy I could simply waste my whole day just simply staring at him (I’m using his picture as my screensaver) and imagining that he is my ‘beloved’.
If HE were my partner… ill cherish every moment that I’m with him. He will be the center of my universe as if I were created to be his life long servant. I will allow him to breathe for he is my so-called ‘rock’…without him; i’m just a worthless inanimate object. I will devote my time and energy making him happy…for his happiness is my ONLY happiness. And if ever ill leave this earth, his name ill utter up until my last breathe after calling the doctor.
Don’t worry…I’m not going psycho… its just that this is my only way of releasing those hidden feelings I have for him and help me realized that this guy could only offer friendship and no romance involve. It pulls my feet back on the ground and helps me realize that the man I’m longing belongs to someone else. Oh well, ‘cest las vie’…
But on the lighter side, “Mr. Right” does exist in the real world. Though it is hard to find such rare species, it may take a lifetime just to find one and may or may not have all the qualities your looking for a guy… at least I know, he exist.
Remember Sandra Bullocks movie ‘Practical Magic’ together with Nicole Kidman. When she was about 12 years old, she is frightened to fall in love with a guy so she pulls out a spell about ‘Mr. Right’ – ‘a guy with blue and green eyes, who loves riding ponies who has stars on its rear end, understanding and gentle.’ And I thought it only happens on movies.
As I write towards the end of this chronicle, I come to realize that making a list and defining ‘Mr. Right’ constrains the existence of our ideal men. No list could ever dictate what our heart longs for and would make it happy on this road towards ‘happiness’. The most important thing is you love the guy and he loves you back in return…
He loves you JUST BECAUSE. PERIOD.
To Axel…I would still be one of your adoring fans and would be enchanted with such gleaming personality. Infatuated and hell… the star of my ‘wet’ dreams.