sail away ole sailor … sail away


https://i1.wp.com/i367.photobucket.com/albums/oo115/ATMasl/sunset_sailing.jpg

I find myself falling in love with a friend again…very similar from my past.

I find myself once again in the crossroads

‘Letting go and to let gomedyo bakasyon muna at hindi muna ako magpapakita o magtetext man lang’

-Or-

Ill take a risk once again and go for it’

pero, I do still remember the things he had told me before…kaya ayaw niyang ma in love sa isang kaibigan dahil baka pag hindi mag work out… baka pati yung friendship maapektuhan..

dalawa ang maaring mawala…lover and your best friend

TRUE…but isn’t love worth fighting for?

I can’t help but wonder…

Poets often say that if you’re in love with someone …

Go on and fight for it no matter what will be its end result…

pero kung ang end result hindi umayon sa damdamin mo…

or mabasted ka dahil hindi ka talaga niya type… e di mas tragic…

Tragic… too tragic maybe…

But would you let this lifetime pass by without even saying to the object of your affection how much you love him?

Will you let that chance go by even before you finally leave him for good?

EVERYTIME he cries with some guy…I just wish to say to him ‘akin ka na lang, sa akin di ka iiyak’

EVERYTIME he tells me a story of his whereabouts, his latest bookings or anything … there is a little voice in my head SHOUTING… ‘ayoko kayang marinig’ but instead I just hold my breath and learned to smile… I knew I don’t want to hear the details but because I love you so much, I want you to feel that you I will always be there, In happiness nor troubles, even if I want to tear myself apart and beat myself until I can’t taste the blood on my lips.  Ill do anything for you just to see you smile and happy…even if I have to torture myself.

EVERYTIME he would say ‘best friend’ … I just hoped that one day he would just call my name and utter terms of terms of endearment.  Longing for the day… the day written in infinite date and time.

EVERYTIME he is in trouble, though I’m miles away and buried somewhere, even just a whimper … I will go out my way to save him and try to comfort him…

EVERYTIME I’m with him … I just wished that one day he would finally see me.

but i guess, we all have to say…

this is enough…

I have to go…

if LOVE becomes PAINFUL…

it’s TIME to let that LOVE GO and SAVE YOURSELF

you got to keep this in mind:

‘You’ll be able to FIND ANOTHER LOVE BUT NOT ANOTHER SELF…’

even if it is the hardest thing to do… I have to leave you and let you sail your own…

I’m getting off this ship and let you sail on the horizon.

I will surely miss the times I’m with you. I will surely miss those sweet smiles.  The eyes that speaks so much of love and devotion, that there is more than you your calves and chest.  There are so many things I wanted to know more but I guess im’m hurting myself so much, trying to wait for some sort of magic that only exist in fairy tales.

Sail away my love… and i hope you have great sunrises and sunsets.

How I wish that you could finally see another guy who could love you more than I can give and stair on that big blue sky and weave your dreams with the stars.

Sail away my loves… don’t worry about me. Ill stand by the shore and wave my hand gleefully for you may never worry about me. Ill smile the best way I can, for you may never see the tears dripping on these sordid eyes. Ill waves my hands and bade you goodbye until a tiny speck of shadow slowly grasp the ship that once I have shared with you.

it’s a must to continue our journey on a different direction….

now i’m letting go of you…

any fantasy I have in mind…

though its too lonely being alone…

ill take my chances.

ill start my small steps towards a new direction.

and hope that somehow I will find another set of footprints along the way.

I may be alone for now…but somehow…someday ill find someone.

The tree’s start to whisper its lonely tune but the birds starts to sing of songs I haven’t heard.

A lot of things I have to catch up, memories lost, new memories to be built.

Hello self…

Nice to see you once again.

* previously posted last January 13, 2007 from my old blog http://www.allanworld.i.ph

2 thoughts on “sail away ole sailor … sail away

  1. Hmmm…falling in love, letting go, falling in love with the same one all over again…this is pain and beauty and the insanity of life. I know it well. Why do I do it? I don’t know…c’est un mystère. Nice post!

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