the LAST goodbye…


 

 

 

for the past few months, I have been emotionally attached with a guy whom I thought I would hold his hands forever…

 

sure he is not perfect…which I have learned to accept.  He is a writer and a professor at the same time.  Plus a full scholar in a well known university.  he just finished his thesis and from what I’ve heard from him, it was a success.  but dating a writer has its own dilemma – they love their computers rather than humans.

 

and it seems they are living on a world they have created. ika nga ‘may sariling mundo’

 

I admit that we have our shortcomings…and we have learned to admit that both has its own special ways that we learned to love and missed.

 

pero for several months… mga 5 to 6 months na on and off relationship…(and cherish the days na magkasama kami…well siguro mga ilang times lan yun pero at least…im comfortable and dont have to prove anything pag kasama ko siya…)

 

until … such time that I felt nothing and puzzled why…

 

maybe perhaps that time and schedule has been difficult for both of us.  our ideas are way different and we don’t share a common goal. 

 

…the last good bye that I have with him over the phone gave me an idea that we are not really for each other…

 

I’m not in pain

I’m not broken hearted

and I did not feel anything

…even remorse

 

weird

siguro, some things are not meant to be together

 

but its far more better that I have to let go for we may both find ourselves a little bag of happiness… freedom.

 

YES …  I admit … I have learned to love him.  At least I knew that I tried to work things out…kaya lang…hanggang dun na lang yun….

 

dont get me wrong…I’m not shedding tears…nor am I sad.  It’s a feeling that I cant even explain…its as if I’m in peace… calm and peaceful.

 

as you thread your way to China, Mike, I just want you to know that I wish you the best on what the future may bring.  and how I may hope that we will find each other on loving arms of another guy who could love us behind our little craziness. 

 

and someday…we would could sing a beautiful ballad ‘I remember the boy but I don’t remember the feeling anymore’

 

** originally posted last May 1, 2007 at my old blog www.allanworld.i.ph

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