For the past few months… i have had embraced singlehood its entire context and definition. though single, i rarely go out on a date or party hard than i expected … i guess that is just me.
before, im scared to be alone.
im always longing for that lover who would sweep me off my feet. thus, i look for him in every nook and cranny of this entire pink room.
done some maverick acts and tried hard to sell myself through the images i used. i tried hard to be the ‘perfect guy’ anyone would like to have and keep but i guess, i have some shortcomings as well that no aesthetic attribute of mine could ever satisfy anyones juicy wet dreams.
been succesful for some accounts but i was often broken hearted at times thus im involve in this group that i grew to love. well, not because i could pick up my daily twinks at this group but rather a friendship and camaraderie that it has created on its posters, visitors and advisors.
i have the uncanny taste of picking the darnest apple among a brood of good ones. i dont know why but i have a poor judgement of picking the gold from the silvers.
so i stopped… i stop on doin the legwork. trying to find the inevitable. trying to seek the moth among the league of flies.
they say its a sad journey, being alone and all but i find solemnity and peace of mind.
maybe for a weeks on this program makes me crave for a life i used to have – a masochist life indeed. its like a drug addict on the brink of insanity and craving. but in any event, i found myself happy and calm.
now, i dont look for mr. right. I know he will find me. if only he looks behind him and ask me for my name.