marimar, microwave, spanish bread and the night i almost burned a building (a comedy)




The security guard came rushing in… ‘sira, na ba?’


With his unseen eyebrows all crossed around his forehead. Then, the head of security appeared while clutching his huge red logbook… * he sniffed.  he smelled something has just burned.


i raised my hand…grinned…and said ‘ako po..’


guilty as charged.


and before you create stories in your head, let me tell you the full story on a night i almost burned a building.


it was an hour before my shift.  im a bit hungry so i pulled out one of the spanish bread i brought in the office.  i love spanish bread.  its creamy, sweet and affordable (only 2 pesos per bread).


as i plump it in the microwave, set the timer in 2 minutes and go straight to the choco machine…i was immediately hooked at the new TV series flashing in the tube.  Its a pinoy version of a mexican telenovela which i have learned to love during pre-puberty years.  “marimar” sets the tone and stories in local TV-landia – fast phased, riveting and utterly enjoyable.  i reminisce Thalia’s first concert which me and my aunt watched at the CCP.  Even if she didnt say any word of english, i got one hell of a time.    She was so popular in the Philippines by that time, it saved a local network namely RPN 9 and she had major concert wherein almost 90% of her repertoire are in mexican that no one even bothered.  i dont care as long as i am watching Thalia in person..AWWWW!  heres a snip of her own renditon of a Tagalog melody NANDITO AKO



UNTIL a friend of mine noticed huge chunks of smoke out from the microwave


i immediately run towards the machine and opened its doors.  i forgot…..i overheat the bread and burned.


the security rushed in.  then in less than 2 minutes, the story catapulted from a burned bread to burning of the building.  They even tagged the poor microwave as ‘broken’ even without trying. other employees cant use the microwave since they dont know if its really broken.  Arrrghhhhh!  I even overheard one of the staff that it is was a guys first time to use a microwave that’s why it’s a huge disaster…. ME A VIRGIN MICROWAVE USER.  You got to be kidding me!!  i was just inside the pantry, observing every details after the ‘small accident’


good thing the microwave is not broken.  we could still use it as of the time being.  and i have learned how words can passed from one mouth to another. 


that if i accidentally tripped and bumped my head in the windows, the story would have been different if it is passed from one source to another.  they may have versions of i am smashing building window or trying to jump from the 36th floor. jeeezzz!!!


What if I screamed inside a restroom because I saw a slimy little green insect… hmmm.. they would have versions that I saw GODZILLA while peeing!!! Ay que horror!


its just the simplicity of the context that makes it all dark funny.

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