the gay son and father relationship in ‘the sum of us’


just finished watching ‘the sum of us’ starring the young Russel Crowe.


Created in 1994, (Crowe still has a think long hair on this film but still have the gorgeous smile that could melt any gay guy) plays 24 year old rugby playing plumber Jeff who has a great life with his straight dad named Harry.  Set in Sydney Australia, Harry is not your ordinary stereotypical kind of father.  He knows that Jeff is gay and even advocates the lifestyle of his one and only son.  He even takes an active part in Jeff’s search for Mr. Right.  Not only does Harry encourage his son’s lifestyle, he is forever breaking into the bedroom with a nice hot cup of tea for Jeff and his bed partner.


the story mainly revolves around the father and son relationship that would be an envy of any gay man who had kept their lives closeted and well hidden to our own versions of pandoras box. (i for one is jealous and envy the films established father and son relationship…but of course minus the tea offering while hammering a partner hehehehe). 


in my opinion, it opens up a whole new scene ‘what if my father knew im gay, what kind of relationship would we have?’


Crowe has marvelously played the discreet gay character that even if Jeff is real…well…you wont have the chance to even know if he is gay not unless you bumped him in a local pink bar with a handsome young man to shag. 


i cried mostly at the hospital scene where he lovingly kisses the hand of his father.  i kind of see myself in his shoes when my mom had a major stroke.  it seems that my world has torn apart and i no longer have any sidekick – like Robin loosing Batman sort of thing. i just know the feeling….


the feeling also imparted a deep message that has gained leaps and bounds.  simple enough that was uttered by Jack Thompson during New Years Eve ‘I have never been ashamed of jeff, not ever. How can I be ashamed of what my seeds have become.’


in the real world, the greatest dilemma of a father is having a gay son.


WHY?  they say that its a slap to manhood.


but i think fathers are afraid of how the lives of their son will gonna lead. 


they are afraid of the horrible society we are living in.


they are afraid that their son will be pushed and laughed at. 


they are afraid that the moment they are gone, no one will take good care of their son.


so they try to ‘straighten’ them up by hiding and pushing back the identities of their son back to the closet and act what the standards of the society dictates.


fathers….please do not be afraid.


though we cant have the same things you have in your entire life, it doesnt mean that we will grow up as a bad person.  be happy for what we may become and just give us what we may have in this life cycle.  it may not be what the society dictates, but its a life of freedom.  a life like the rainbow – colorful, vibrant.


the movie is worth the watch… most especially to bi-curious closeted fellow who is reading this post who has a hard time dissecting their relationship with their father.  its also a great gift to homophobic fathers, but be sure you are willing to face the consequence after…

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