one random conversation with one of my friends led us to ‘bearing children’. I think it all started out when we are discussing one of our colleagues who recently bear a bouncing baby boy. (congratulations mama amy) then, the conversations led to preferences – boy or girl ba ang gusto mong anak? 3 (including ‘me’) out of 5 prefferred the male genitalia as their first kid. Well, my basic reasons of wanting a son as my first child is based on chinese beliefs. Maswerte daw kasi… my friends were amazed and asked some more. What if my son turns out to be ‘gay’? I take a deep breath and answered with all my might. It wouldn’t matter if I have a gay son since that will be his preference. With all of my love, I will be behind him in all of his ‘gay steps’ and will always let him know that I am proud of him for whatever choice he would make. Do I actually wish to have a gay son? I quickly answered ‘NO’. I don’t think I would wish for one since I know how hard to walk through life with ‘pink fins’ in my head. I know the hardships… the challenges… awful experiences… the scrutiny of society. How they measure my existence to a one centavo coin.. I still can recall how I overheard one of my uncles say ‘he would never amount to anything because he is gay’. Ouch!! My problems and challenges are a bit harder than the straight people. On an everyday basis, I have to prove that they are wrong and im fit to do the job. And frankly, sometimes im too tired trying. I may have my own strategy on how I could snag the goal but I always make it to the finish line with rainbow colors. I still believe that ‘gay people’ are brave. Just imagine the hurdels they have to overcome and yet we manage to brisk the storm and greet the new day with a smile. Im not ashamed being gay but I know how hard living the gay life.