The Red Shoe Chronicle: Chula Massage



I bet everyone likes to know my latest misadventures in the massage business. To be honest, matagal na rin akong di nagpupunta or nagpapamasahe. There are a lot of establishments that closes na rin and I surely miss some of them. A new reader shared that there are a lot of new massage parlour in Quezon City that I yet to experience – given the time, money and location since I’m now living far from Manila, I have to think things twice. Come to think of it, Valenzuela is not that far from the hustles and bustles of pink Manila. Its a just train away and a long slow and painful tumbling at McArthur Highway. Not to mention, quite boring as you see a line of houses and few perky establishments.

I thought it will be a loooong winter. I snuggled in my comfy chair and never thought that I will find myself to another misadventure. Anyway, I just like to share a massage parlour that I and a comrade discovered. It was one hot summer night and we are feeling jiggy with the booze we’ve been drinking. Of course napagusapan namin ang mga massage parlor na pinagdalhan ko sa kanya hanggang sa may maalala siya na isang masahehan around Manila na hindi pa naming nasusubukan. It was actually parang a ‘tell-tale’ na hindi ako naniwala at first. May apprehension ako dahil ang nagsabi sa kanya ay isa sa mga booking niya. Plus he is straight so i don’t really know kung totoo nga yun. And di pa rin naman niya napupuntahan by that time. So, what I did, with the high level of toxins in my head, I challenge him to bring us to the place. In just a second, he said ‘ok… well find it’.

We are drunk and I don’t know how I reached the place but what I know is I’m at the doorstep of a massage parlour – a Thai massage to be exact. The place is called CHULA MASSAGE. The mini flyer said that they are a member of the International Thai Therapy Association and Philippine Wellness and Spa Association. Their massage ranges from Php 200.00 (foot reflex) and as far as Php 480 (hot stone massage and ventosa with massage). I did not try both rather I tried the Thai and shiatsu massage so far for the two instances that I tried their services.

The entrance is kinda cool. It’s littered with the old Thai culture sprinkled with the old Manila style. A girl receptionist will greet you upon entering their premises. I like how it was designed. I kinda envy the gay manager/owner who runs the place since I like their door design and chandelier. The lights are dim and classy – rich in colour, opulent, comfortable. Going back to masseurs, you won’t see them at first. Its not like you typical male massage parlour na you get to glimpse at them in a line up or through a small aquarium-like room and you get to pick the masseurs. It’s like going to a candy store and pick WHO you like. “Oh mom, I like the big slab of chocolate with 6 pack abs.” So you just kinda imagine who will attend to your needs and try guess amongst the male masseurs who walks back and forth from the reception room to the kitchen. I swear I could see the kitchen at the back of the parlour. It doesn’t have much furniture’s since it’s a spa. What do I expect, a dining table perhaps (rofl). The room are found at the second floor. It’s a long bedroom divided into four or five cubicles that are divided by … guess what… just a curtain. So kinda see what is happening at the other ‘cubicles’. So kung anung ganda ng entrance, dun naman bumagsak pagdating sa masahehan mismo. I mean, maririnig mo talaga kung anu yung ginagawa sa kabila and you can take a peek pa. As in bosohan talaga. Good thing mga kakilala ko yung 2 kasama ko kaya ok lang for me. So if ever you decided to come to this massage parlour, I would recommend bringing in a friend.

Did I mention that I tried the spa twice? First, I was really dead drunk. Second… tipsy! So during my first time since I’m new sa place, I didn’t get to pick my masseur. Sabin ng girl receptionist, nakapila daw sila kaya hindi daw pwedeng mamili. Granted that I’m new and I don’t know their rules, so I give in. I got a masseur whose name is Nor. Kinda reminded me of the Knorr broth cubes that my mom used at the kitchen. Kinda lame for a pseudonym but I’m not the person who will wearing it so it’s fine by me. He is tall, dark and lanky. You know matangkad kasi siya kaya parang hukot tumayo and hindi rin naman malaki ang katawan. Payat pero his muscles are at the right places naman. Yung typical guy who like to play basketball, ganun ang dating niya. Medyu bumbayin look with deep seethed eyes and charming at times. He brought in a bowl of water and soap to clean up my feet at the reception. I think yun yung pinakaprocedure nila for clients before you take your massage. I think it’s because of the things that you bring with your feet and I think its mandatory for them.

Nor’s massage is fine. Relaxing – highly recommended. Parang aral talaga and pinag-aralan niya talaga yung shiatsu. I think nakatulog nga ako during the whole session eh kaya I’m happy with what I have paid. Regarding extra, they offer but as in any business – mostly hush, hush. Did I mention na he is just wearing brief during the time that I had my session. So you kind know na by that time na talagang meron. What I don’t like is the price… I mean ‘taga’ talaga! I think he was asking for 1.5K to 1K for a blow and romance – no ‘tsug’ at all. So I just left him a tip by that time for their great massage. I think 2hum or 3hum… nakalimutan ko na. My friends who came with me are not that happy rin for their hired masseur. Some of them maarte daw and nagpapataas pa ng presyo and the other one complaint na hindi nya daw bet yung napunta sa kanya. They have an ongoing rule na if you don’t like to masseur just squeal and they would immediately replace it. For me, young ganitong ruling is absurd since ang hirap naman mag-reject right on your face. Plus the agony of explaining why you need to replace your masseur. These humans, they have feelings. It’s not like an inanimate object that you could ask for a replacement if it doesn’t fit – all you need to have is waive your receipt.

Since our primary motto a.l.a. Justine Bieber ‘never says never’ and we need to keep our time worth it, we opted for second tryst. Ay sus…que horror, we shouldn’t have had done it. My friend kasi bought a promo ticket na once he returned at least 3x, the fourth one will be free. So he needs to use those tickets rin kaya we opted to come back. Since nagging friend friends na nga kami nung receptionist, nakapili na kami this time ng masseur. Kinuha ng friend ko yung masseur ko na si Nor while I opted for a new one. A bit muscular, charming rin kahit paano and wala namang amoy (hahaha). Pero this one is worst, bad massage and asking for too much. I ended up going home dismayed and I didn’t even left him a tip. Rudeness-gracious!!! He thought siguro that if I refused, my friend will get him anyway. I have enough cash load by that time pero siguro on how I look by that time (super pambahay), he took to him to himself that I’m penniless twink.

So overall, I don’t think that id like to come back at this massage parlour. If ever ill come back, ill just opt for the massage and they better be good.

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