Jobert Sucaldito and the naughty #cucumber


 

Showbiz talk show host Jobert Sucaldito is recovering at the Capitol Medical Center in Quezon City after a successful emergency surgery to remove a large piece of cucumber that got stuck in his rectum, according to reports.

Sucaldito, one of the hosts of ABS-CBN’s “The Buzz,” reportedly met with the accident Sunday night and was rushed to the hospital after complaining of “extreme pain” in his bottom.
X-rays subsequently revealed that a broken piece of cucumber, about five inches in length, had gotten lodged into the lower end of his large intestine.

It was not immediately clear how the cucumber got there.

The surgeons who operated on Sucaldito were tight-lipped and refused to discuss his case with media, citing doctor-patient confidentiality. Oddly enough, they all looked like they were trying vainly to keep from laughing and refused to look reporters in the eye.

Members of Sucaldito’s household who declined to be named said they recovered the other half of the cucumber, also five inches in length, in Sucaldito’s bedroom. They said it had “bite marks” and was in a “soggy” state.  Besides the cucumber, they said they also found “a bottle of Johnson’s baby oil, pictures of scantily clad men, and lots of tissue paper.”

Reached by phone, Sucaldito said he is fine and will be discharged from hospital soon. He explained that it was all an accident.

“Gumagawa kasi ako ng salad. Napaupo ako dun sa chair e meron palang pipino dun na patayo ang pusisyon. Basta, mabilis kasi ang mga pangyayari (I was making a salad. I sat on a chair but there was a cucumber there in an upright position. Everything just happened so fast)” he said.

In a related development, a group of vegan Filipinos is reportedly thinking of filing an abuse complaint against Sucaldito for allegedly molesting a harmless and defenseless vegetable.

 

Editors note: This story has been resurrected recently by FB netizens.  After further research, it all began way back in May of 2009.  There were no actual news article but rather links after links after links that was “copy pasted” by naughty bloggers.  So this “new article” become a folk tale which was passed on by itchy bloggers lips to another green minded bloggers lips.  In fact, i copied some of the links below for your easy reference.  

 

 

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