It was one of those reviews that you just have to write agad agad…
And Im that kind of writer na super extreme…either im tooo overwhelmed or tooo mad because of a certain scene na parang di ko mapapalampas!
My readers won’t like me after this but somehow, sometimes a fellow needs to speak up.
#BORING and #OVerPriced… I learned these two hashtags this evening
Based on my previous post, if you were reading closely, last week I booked a guy named Zander na #NoShow during the actual deed. But ergo, I got a great experience with Xian of Essensa. I love the fact that some of my friends are now closely looking on his profile and eventually hiring him…. He is a great catch and Hindi ako mapapahiya if anyone would read my previous blog post. “one of the best Massuer’s in Essensa that I would highly recommend.”
This evening was special. The guy that I loooong to hire with so much hiatus is available. Yes… I have a bit of a crush sa kanya dahil gwapo at matangkad siya and super kinis. I did described how I first met him based on a previous blog entry and how I loooong for this day to finally hire him.
My co-fairy dragged our weary ass on a Sunday night to fulfill our carnal desires. A friend were on the middle of his session with Xian when we arrived. So… naisip na Lang namin na kitain siya pagkatapos and eventually yayain siya after for a few drinks. My fairy friend snagged Jarred which I have to make a review pa. Sus…. So many boys, so little time.
Well…. I guess my dreams are about to be fulfilled by Zander.
When we entered the lair (hahahahha grabe lair talaga!) he was asking why did I picked over others…. I responded by saying… “ako yung client mo last week… I waited for you. Sabi ni Khaye lumabas Ka Lang at may sinundo pero inumaga na ako dito pero wala Ka pa. Kaya I opted na kumuha na Lang ng iba.”
“Ay sorry po ser… ikaw po pala yun. Di ba malakas ang ulan last week eh Hindi na ako pinauwi ng regular client ko kaya di na ako nakarating.”
Oops… he was with “his regular client” pero iba explanation sa akin ni Khaye na may sinundo etc. In terms on how I deal with this “extra hobby”, I’m direct to the point. I even asked His handler by that time yung whereabouts nang otoko na itey and just be honest kung NASA client man siya. I don’t want to waste my time lalo na maghintay. It’s like hours that I cant bring back and that’s a huge NO for me.
Anyway… I don’t dwell with issue kaya I dropped it the moment I entered the lair. Pagpasok ko pa Lang, parang narinig ko na ang mga anghel sa langit at masayang umaawit na parang operatic and dating… hahaha!
Attitude 7/10 – polite. That’s the only word I can think of. He uses “po” and “opo” dahil anLakas makagurang. I asked him to drop it Pero he did explained that everyone in Essensa were thought to say such. I don’t want to push so much that’s why I gave in.
Looks/body 8/10 – the guy is handsome…. Sobra.. did I say na Crush ko na siya nang una ko siyang masilayan. Kumanta pa nga si Kim Chiu sa background “ikaw na ba si Mister Right… ikaw na ba ang icing sa cupcake koooooo?” If the evening turns out well, I would have asked for another session and booked for another round….. plus no bad odor at all. kaya Lang his looks department is not that enough to fill in my sensual desire. I guess, dahil gwapo nga…
Massage 5/10 – am I expecting too much? Well with his body frame, his height and huge hands… yes I am. The last time I check, the sign said “spa”. But then again, I can’t asked for too much. His technique is soooo technical (anu ba yun… walang kwentang mag describe)
Ok.. spa quality. Yan ang description ng ilang hitad na kung makapag FR eh wagas. He did asked the mandatory question kung “hard or moderate”. I responded by saying “hard baby… hard to moderate “. Nothing too explosive or monumental sa massage. I can still remember when I did ask him “konting diin pa dear”… he tried siguro but I guess that is the best that he can do. funny… this only lasted mga 30 minutes siguro.
Isang plus for him siguro ay hindi siya masalita which I appreciate kasi ayoko rin namang dumaldal habang nagpapamasahe.
Tool 4/10 – hep…Alam ko tumatakbo sa isip mo ng mabasa mo ang rating ng tool nya. Pagbigyan mo Lang akong mag explain… its average naman. Hindi ko kasi nakita ng fully erect…. Siguro 5 inches long… Sinukat ko pa sa bibig ko habang subo ko ang notrilya nya pero di man Lang ako nabilaukan. Hindi siya super hard… I don’t know why pero siguro hindi nya lang ako bet. Gusto ko sanang magpausok ng insenso at Baka nasapian si junjun junior kaya di siya tinitigasan. Siguro kung ako si Anne Curtis…. Ay sus sino ba niloloko ko – kahawig ko si Ai Ai delas Alas kaya siguro ganun ang reaction ng junjun nya. Takutin ko kaya? USO naman dahil malapit na ang todos los Santos di ba. Baka kasi pag nagulat eh biglang tumigas..
ES 4/10 – susmarya…. Napagod ako. I don’t know where to start and I guess the next thing you’ll read are all “rants”. Forgive me. With my Girl Scout honor “I will do my best”
Spell boring. As in. Walang fireworks… no passionate kisses. Wala. Walang himallllaaaaaaa!
With my loud mouth, I did asked these things to his handler through a mutual friend. Unulit ko rin ang mga ganitong tanong sa gabing hindi ako sinipot. I’ve read somewhere regarding this guy and a few advices from a friend… pero siyempre Hindi ko pa naman natitikman kaya di rin ako makapag conclude. Medyo hesitant na rin ako when I was asked kung sino ang iBook ko that night with the series of unfortunate events but I can’t judge him naman just because he got a bad FR by another time pixie fairy. Magagalit si bimby nyan (with Kris Aquino tone)
Going back, his torrid kisses is not true. It’s a smack. Tangnadis. Nabilang ko ata yun…siguro Hindi hihigit sa mga 40 kisses yun. As in.
His tongue action… sus… parang kumuha Ka ng krayola tas “nag small circle big circle” Ka sa utong ko. I did show him how when its my turn…. Ang pagdila ko sa kanya from his singit to his utong with supsup on the side and I did not even get a porno reaction. Slurp dito slurp doon…. Wala, putek. Dedma.
Hindi pwede ito… anlaki ng TF ni kuya (which I will describe later… magagalit ka sa akin). Kailangan masulit ko ito. I started on top with his baby junior. It is not fully erect kaya I made a few attempts. Nang pinasok na…siyet di ko maramdaman…
Commercial: nakapag attend Ka na ba ng acting class? Madalas Maririnig mo… even the great Jaclyn Jose once uttered… wala akong mapaghugutan sa kaekesena ko. Excatly my point… wala akong mahugot na libog sa kapartner ko.
He was just there… no moaning… nothing.
Then I think at one point to save his erection he opted for dog style. Siyempre I have to think fast… it seems lalabasan na siya (dyuskoooo di pa kami nagtatagal ah) kaya I asked him na magpalabas sa likod ko…
Sabi ko kung lalabasan Ka na, Hugutin mo titi mo then Alisin ang condom tapos magpalabas Ka dyan sa likod ko. Gusto kong maramdaman na nilabasan Ka.
“Sa likod po nyo ser?”
Sa likod ko …yes. Hindi sa loob ng puke ko. Sa likod.
Yes…sooo graphic. That’s how the conversation go. My fangs and my horns starts to show.
He did cum… I felt it. But I’m nowhere near nirvana.
Next chapter… nagbabati na ako. I’m loosing my libido and Ive got to catch it fast…. And si zander. He was on my side. Pagod. Walang ginagawa. “Hello … Houston we have a problem”
I tried to pull him towards me. He is a bit hesitant kasi nga puro pawis ako but still… I pulled him near me. He laid on top of me without doin anything….. NOTHING AT ALLLLLL. No kisses.. nothing.
I asked him to lay flat and for heaven sake I played the role of “Top”. Kanyod dito kanyod doon… goodness. The last time I work hard this much is when I had a boyfriend circa 1900’s. Pero I like what I’m doing by that time kaya nag TOP ako sa kanya. Eh ngayun… I’m staring at a lifeless fuckin doll with great ass…that’s it. Layla dee…. Pintihaya ko naman ang otoko at Baka sa mga singit nya makita ko ang nirvana… kanyod dito kanyod doon. He is not even making an effort. Hindi nya naman inipit talaga.
Ay sus… I give up. Sobrang pagod ko.
“Sige ok na…”
“Its ok…pagod na ako”
Tonight… my cum is not invited.
Damage: mahabang kwento ito. Makinis ka muna. When we are about to start the ES and when he politely offered it to me…
“Magkaliwanagan muna tayo…. Php2500 all in na yan.”
“2500.00 plus 500 for the spa po.”
Medyo nagpanting ang tenga ko. Pero sige I opted to give in. Maguumpisa pa Lang kami mga mare and I don’t want to spoil the evening.
When I was on top of him and I was about to push baby junior sa aking kweba ng kalangit langitan… “ser….” Almost whsipery “dagdagan nyo na lang ng 500…magpapalabas rin naman ako eh”
This is black mail. I wanted to shout. Mag eskandalo bumaba at humanap ng mambabarang. Akala ko ba napagusapan na namin ito right before the we do the deed. May huling hirit sa tag init. Your asking me this when your about to fuck meeeee. Oh come on….
Everything in my head. In this life… there are things that I care about. Ayoko ng mapahiya ang mga taong nagpakilala sa akin sa happy place na Ito and I will not create a scene dahil sa pera. Wala sa bokabularyo ko ang gumawa ng eksena na ikakapahamak ng iba.
Rehire: pusang gala…. Tinanong mo pa ako! Huuuuuuuugggggggeeeee NOOOOOOOOOOO! If you want to hire him
69 Kamias Road, Quezon City
Landline +63 2 504 1464
MANAGER “KHAYE” +63 906 862 5468
P.S. masarap palang sumigaw at pumalahaw sa loob ng gay bar. Pramis… walang makakarinig hahahahhaha