being single for a couple of months gave new meaning… I realized ITS NOT THAT BAD AFTER ALL
before, i used to lament how ‘life is sooo empty’.
feeling jealous with every couple who pass by right in front of me. often i imagine if i could ever find my ‘better half’ and tried my luck. some of them are successful but often, i kicked myself at the gutter.
i tried to use every single moment to find ‘the one’….
but i guess..i failed.
so a life of singlehood were often times embraced.
im no stranger to the singles valley and i know every corner of this town. before, i despise to lurk and actually live in this village. Im ashamed of myself and often felt that im ‘no good’.
I feel im ‘un-lovable’.
Im too ugly that no one has the stomach to love me back.
i am old unattractive poor little twink.
yup…its hard for me to swallow either that i dont have the looks and the body of a perfect cover boy…but REALITY BITES ME IN THE ASS…
until one day….
Im tired of feeling sorry to myself.
reality and acceptance sets in my little brain.
for beauty, good genes plays a huge part. so if i will continue to beat myself because im not good looking, i wouldnt survive a lifetime. its not a sin to be ugly… looks comes with the package. we are born with it and each looks are individually crafted – not to humiliate us but give us utter the distinction to one another. What would the world be if we all look alike? Its like the valley of the dolls!!!!
as i gazed out from my window, i realised that i shouldnt feel sad after all. i dont need to smirk my entire life and punish myself.
i also realised that my neigbors are not that bad after all. here at single valley, you would meet a bunch of guys who are contented being single. its not that i fully cast away the sparks of love and romance but i have learned a valuable lesson – they are contented and happy.
they dont need another man to make them whole. as the words of andrew matthews ‘you have to be SOMEBODY first. its no good being someones ‘other half’ – youre a whole person.’
i found serenity in this new life. found peace….
suddenly, my dog barks from behind. he shows his radiant smile and stares with his lovely brown eyes. Realising im not alone.
** orginally posted last January 20, 2008 from my old blog www.allanworld.i.ph