Its Valentines day…still single and no boyfriend, as I waited for my ‘failing’ internet connection to come back while listening to Tierney Suttons rendition of an immortal Gershwin classic ‘someone to watch over me’ with Buddy Childers Big Band when I happen to read one of the oldest text messages I tucked in my mobiles inbox
Why was snow white given an apple with poison? To show that not all people that are kind to you are not really kind. They might have some secret agenda against you. Looks can be deceiving.
Why did Cinderella run away when the clock turned 12mn? To remind us that everything has its limitations, even dreams!
Why did Ariel decide to exchange her fins with feet? To show that anyone will try to lose ‘anything’ just to be happy.
So if you like these three fairy tales when you were still a kid, most likely, we are all fucked up in our future relationships since we don’t know how to decipher who would cheat on us at the end of the day. We don’t know who could give us that ‘everlasting love’ since everyone keeps their best foot forward not unless they have been able to get what they want from you.
I have recently dated a guy whom I met in one of my favorite bars in Malate. I introduced myself since I felt a slight ‘ump’ on the way he brings himself which I was easily smitten. I thought, ‘what the heck? Let me give a try if he will respond’
Well, my guardian angel may have taken a pity on me as the said introduction leads to exchange of cell phone numbers and another date. The second date maybe disaster as the evening reads its final chapter; my date found another ‘date’ and traded me with this newbie. I was hurt and drove home feeling low and ugly. Have you tried to drive Welcome Rotonda to Manila City Hall thrice in the wee hours of the morning? I do. I was fuming mad by that time and I felt that the machine between my legs could ease out my pain. Well, it works for me.
Well, i’m quite mushy and all so as he explain himself through text … I forgive and forget so we set the third date.
Here are some excerpts of that conversation via text…
‘oo, gusto kita. Pag gusto ko yung tao kailangan malaman ko hanggang saan ang hanganan niya. Kung talagang gusto niya ako o mahal na niya ako dapat patunayan niya.’
‘alam mo bang naimpress ako sayo that time na nagalit ka, sabi ko napakatransparent mo. Kahit nung naghiwalay tayo sa malate and that’s a turn on. Kaya no problem sa akin yun. I like it that way’
‘hindi ah. Promise I was turned on that time. natuwa pa nga ako eh. Kasi naramdaman ko na you like me me talaga kasi pag hindi youll just say goodbye and ignore it. I love transparent person kasi ayaw ko sa lahat ng nanghuhula. Gusto ko nakikita ko para I know where to put myself. You were upset that night right?’
obviously, I throw the hot cup of coffee that I haven’t tasted yet. Sa sobrang inis ko, tinapon ko yun sa gutter and in return I burned myself.
‘wala lang, ang totoo I want you to fight me back. Tapos pilitin mo akong kunin sa kanya. I mean convince mo ako na bakit kailangan kong sumama sayo pero sumuko ka aga. Sayang hehehe
what can you expect from a first date? I don’t impose things to people. Mas pangit naman ang dating kung first date pa lang ay nag-demand na ako. I wont do that especially kung paerho pa tayong walang relasyon or obligasyon sa isat isa.
The third date was fine and I thought we have to bring the level a bit higher. That night when I asked what he has on mind for the rest of the evening, he uttered ‘I plan to spend it with you’. So based from those phrases, my heart give in and enter the ‘bed dimension’.
Though that there are feelings of uncertainties if I have made the right decision, I asked the heavens above the next day if he is the guy for me then I would be willingly open thy arms and accept it. I say to myself that I have to stop trying to find things na hindi kayang ibigay ng isa so I would have to accept the fact that he lacks certain qualities that I look for a partner. At this point, I’m more than willing to accept his ‘short’ comings
And so I thought…
The day after, it seems that the wind has changed direction since I have not received any text from him. The next day I have waited and texted him thrice asking why the sudden change. But still, no response from Jules. I tried to logically explain that he may not have a load or he is busy trying to find another job the days turns into a week. A week has passed with no text messages. I think when i’m writing this post, it’s close to two weeks with no contact.
Oh well, I think it is not meant to be. Sayang Jules, i’m more than willing to make things work out pero i’m not up to another challenge that you are fond of giving. I’m tired of games and I don’t want surprises. I felt i’m like those characters on those fairy tales that kept their hopes up but in the end we have to face that behind the charming look lays a wolf . I thought it was love pero hindi pala. Well I guess, it’s the end for both of us … till the next journey.