#hugotpamore recipe: how to make a #GrahamCake


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First ibuhos ang durog na graham cake sa isang lalagyan.   Yung durog ang gamitin mas maganda.  Pero ok rin naman kahit yung biskwit.  Durugin na lang parang pagdurog mo sa puso ko.  Dun ka nga ata magaling… dahil kayang kaya mong durugin ang lahat ng pagtangi ko.

After ibuhos mo na ang pinaghalong kondensada at creamer.  Parang yung mga panaginip ko na unti unting nalusaw dahil nakita ko pityur mo may kasama kang iba.  Anu ba ako… oo nga pala di naman tayo.  Tapos ipatong mo na yung mga natirang graham. Then ibuhos mo uli yung kondensada at creamer. Patong patong. Bakit? Di ako nagseselos. Patong patong lang ang nararamdaman ko.  Di ko alam kung ipagpapatuloy ko pa itong nararamdaman ko or iiwasan na lang kita.  Make sure ilagay mo sa ref yang graham cake… o ilagay mo na lang dyan sa puso.  Pareho lang naman yun.  Baka nga mas malamig pa dyan sa puso mo eh

#scars


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I can still read your name on my right arm… they are all healed but i can still see the marks

Its like yesterday when i scribbled your name
Swearing why it hurts
Asking GOD why i love thee

Blood runs through my veins
The blood drips on the floor
The blade hums my endearing love

But time heals all wounds
Its true
Now its just a white mark
But my heart still has to heal thyself

I know in time ill get over you
My heart is still dripping with blood
Can i move on.

One tiny step
One last breath
One more chance

the art of letting go (instagram quotes)


The advent of instagram is truly remarkable.  Its one of the most active app i have and one of the most endearing social networks that i joined in.  The rest of the world can follow you and show your affection through a 4×4 post.  I followed endearing accounts such as Lessons Learned in Life, I Like To Quote, Pin Quotes, Positive Outlooks and much more to give that extra push on my daily grind.  Here are some quotes that i had posted which reminded my self-worth and dont forget to follow me as well: http://instagram.com/the_world_of_aj


the ART of LETTING GO (picture series 1)


 

“The Art of Letting Go” series is one successful blog entry that i decided to create a whole new series from images found in the ever popular  site TUMBLR, LOVEQUOTESPLUS and SEARCHQUOTES.  So i decided to bring it back and compile ten beautiful quotes that will surely inspire you, (my dear readers) to finally ‘let go’.

 

 

the most HEARTBREAKING text messages i have read … (series 4)


HANKY 31

Too many lies can weaken one’s trust…

Too much betrayal can cause a person to be afraid

And the sad truth is …

Too much pain felt by a loving heart can cause it to freeze

Till it goes numb by the never ending pain…

Until it doesn’t feel any love… anymore. (Sad but true)


HANKY 32

To love someone doesn’t mean to commit with that person.

Sometimes you just have to be satisfied with whatever connection you have with that special one.


HANKY 33

Isn’t it sad when you are so much in love right now,

but you cant freely let it out?

And your so DAMN scared to show it to all cause of one reason?

IT’S COMPLICATED

(gawd, this hits me right on my noggin – AJ)


HANKY 34

Are we really hurt because

we can’t tell the person we love what we really feel?


Or are we hurt because at the back of our minds

we know that telling the object of our affection what we really feel won’t make any difference

(now, I’m starting to cry…- AJ)


HANKY 35

People must try to be sensitive…cause not everyone is strong enough to endure pain.

After all there’s no anesthesia for a broken heart


HANKY 36

What makes us a fool???

When it hurt us to the core seeing the one you love with somebody else,

but still, you keep on staring.


HANKY 37

UNCERTAINTY is the biggest torture in love.

You feel jealous yet you can’t complain.

You can get hurt yet you can’t show it.

You can love with your all yet you cant say it.

All you can do is watch,

keep the pain, enjoy, the smiles, hugs and kisses then show much that person means to you


HANKY 38

The love you cant have….

Last as the longest

Feels the strongest

And hurts the MOST.


HANKY 39

They asked ‘how does it feel to love someone who love someone else?’

After a deep breath, he answered; ‘its like hugging a cactus, the tighter you embrace, the more it hurts’


HANKY 40

We keep on sticking to who we like, that’s why we never notice those who like us.

Sometimes were dying for someone who doesn’t care, while somebody’s already dead trying to please us…

my confession (finale)


Reality bites and it hurts. I never liked a guy for such a long time.  Im head over heels and I may not have seen the stop signs since I do liked him.  Its hard to slowly fall in love with a guy whom I knew I don’t have a future with.  So I prepare a little letter for you so if you stumble upon this blog somehow…  you may no longer remember my face by that time at least I hope you had that ‘a-ha’ moment and say ‘ahhhh… alam ko na


Hey,

First of all, sorry kung kailangan kong isulat sa blog ko yung tunay kong nararamdaman.  Wala naman kasi akong venue na maiparating sa iyo kung ano yung totoong feelings ko though paulit ulit kitang naikwekwento sa mga kaibigan ko sa floor. I bet nagdurugo na rin ang mga tenga ng kaibigan ko dahil sa paulit-ulit kong nababangit ang pangalan mo sa kanila.  And im writing this down kasi its my own way of letting go of a feeling na it wouldn’t flourish at all.  In fact, it would also be beneficial for you kasi na-eliminate ang potential stalker mo in one way or another.

Ganun kalaki ang ‘crush’ ko sa iyo.  Ika nga ‘if you love him, then learn to let go.  Its one way of gauging how much you love him if youre willing to give his freedom even if it will kill you’

Each time na nakikita kita, kinakabahan ako.  Magkahalong kaba at paghanga.  Ewan ko ba pero pilit kong iniwasan na makatitigan kita dahil baka lalo akong main-love.  Kaya nga para matapos ang pagiging lukaret ko, minabuti ko ng umiwas.

Nagpatanggal ako sa mentoring list dahil alam kong ma-aassign ako sa class nyo.  Hindi dahil sa kung anumang bagay na sinabi ko sa mga kaibigan mo.  Charing lang yun.  On the first place, gustong gusto kong makita ka every day.  I even try to look for your station and see if your there. I feel worried pag di kita nakita.  Baka may sakit ka or whatever pero Im relieved pag nalaman kong break mo lang pala.

Im sorry if I have to keep a distance.  A huge distance hanggang sa point na hindi pag pansin sa iyo.  Im sorry pero I have to do it. Or else, I might fall in love with you.

Sorry kung di kita pinapansin or binabawi ko ang tingin ko each time na makakasalubong kita.  Im  sorry kung ayaw man kitang batiin or pansinin.  Hindi dahil sa may ginawa ka sa akin pero im on a process na dapat malimutan ko na ang feelings ko sa iyo. Gusto ko ng makalimutan or ma-settle ang feelings ko sa iyo dahil alam ko masasaktan rin ako sa huli.

Kung ma-misinterpret mo man, ok lang.  I guess…  Kasi mas lalo akong masasaktan kung aasa akong one day ma-reciprocate mo ang feelings ko sayo.

Napakasaya ko last December ng pumayag kang magpakuha ng picture sa akin.  Siguro humugot ako sa beer and red wine just to ask you.  I even asked my friends to help me out.  Thank you ha… ansaya saya ko nun.

But reality needs to set in.  Last February 14, I spend time in front of my mobile thinking if I need to delete your number or not.  I cried when I finally decided to delete your number. It seems that I’m bidding goodbye to a sojourn lover.  I cant breath… but I guess I need to place a period afterall.

So now, im finally moving on.   Napakahirap pero I have to do it.  Again im sorry if I fall in love with you.

Sorry… Leo

my confession (part 3)


One text message received. Alas, the text message I have been waiting for days.

‘Hey… here’s my number …’

Fuck me… he really did texted back. I thought my heart will immediately burst out of excitement.  I just don’t know what to respond and up until this time while I’m writing this post… I don’t know what I have texted back.

What I do remember is the feeling. My heart beats faster.  I think my face were red and warm. I was jumping up and down.  I just cant help it.

Several text were sent back and forth.  Trying to make these nerves at ease since I’m too excited to respond.  I go ga-ga on each text messages.  How ga-ga I am… I stared at my mobile for several minutes waiting for each responses like a teenager waiting for his boyfriends text messages. I just have to quickly respond on each messages and thinking other things to fill in the conversation so I would know him better.  I gushed on every messages as if my feet are lifted off the ground while maintaining my composure without him knowing how much I long for each text messages.

One text struck the most … asking if I knew Haze and Hope?

Two of my fabulous and divine friends in the floor whose beauty surpasses any lads without exerting any effort.

I obliged and responded.  Admit that these fine ladies are my friends.

He then asked for their number?

I stood in silence…. Do I need to give their numbers?  Though I know their digits well hidden in my mobile – I opted not to give it since I firmly believe that phone numbers are somehow private and should not be given to anyone without utter permission  to its owner.  The agony of a cat fight and cat scrathes from these feline friends are some scenarios that spins in this tiny head.  I could recover from agony and the bleeding but it will kill me if ill loose their trust over a phone number.

So I opted to say that ‘I don’t know their phone numbers.’  Yup I lied to my teeth but I stick with what I know.

I told my friends on what happened and they are disgusted.  What a reaction… im still oblivious onto why they have such violent reaction. Im still on cloud 9 but I guess they may have heard something that is obviously unacceptable.  I didn’t knew why until my friend Raven spills reality up in front of my face.  ‘Anu ka ba naman bakla… ginagawa ka niyang phone book.  Magising ka sa katotohanan at huwag kang mangarap…  its hard to chase rainbows.  Baka magkakalyo ka.’

‘But I like him…’