An open letter of a #hopeless #romantic


dear cupid,

Its been a while since i last sent you a letter.  I may have been traumatized with the last guy you sent me.  Yup its true, its a whirlwind romance but he threw me in a loop and now i don’t know if ill ever recover.

I’m not choosy, just to lay my cards straight.  it just so happen that i’m trying to find a chemistry to the next fellow who sends SMS / IM or message but the pizzas is simply not there.  Plus, im bottom and i’m trying to find the next eligible TOP but they are too low in numbers.  Some pretend they are TOP but low and behold – lies of all lies, they are “FREAKINLY BOTTOM”.  I don’t think that we can spell “happy ever after” if we both were looking for TOP.  I guess this house can only accommodate ONE BOTTOM and that’s me.

true… i admit Mr. Cupid.  IM AFRAID!

my friends often wonder, why?

there’s no harm being single.  as for me, the last time i had a serious relationship was… ( thinking… i forgot na).  Just like what Jack of Will and Grace often said “if you have to think for at least 3 seconds then that’s too long ago”

admittedly… i am terrified.  I hate the fact of opening myself to another person and he wont reciprocate my feelings.  I’m horrified of the things i’m about to feel and at the end of the line – he will end up leaving me just like my last serious relationship.  I’m mortified by the fact that i am not good enough; not well endowed enough; not hunkier  that the other guy in PR or gorgeous than that fellow in Facebook.

honestly, i don’t know how to choose the right guy.  I just let destiny fill in the gap but i don’t think that she is helping me as well.

I just hoped that he would start knocking on my door … uttering “hey just saw you downstairs, i just cant help but wonder if i can get you number…”

But then again, this is the Philippines and i’mnot living in Florida or San Francisco where gays are far more forward with their feelings.  Am i doomed Mr. Cupid… or will i just take care of 9 cats and play solitaire till i finally close my eyes … FOREVER.

Mortified and horrified with my future… but i guess, i would be the last single gay guy in Valenzuela.

Yours truly,

AJ

 

piggy back ride with “boyfie”


its what we call piggy back ride.

Normally, we see this between a father and his son while having fun at the park or in a pool.  Often, straight men and women does this occasionally while strolling on their favorite avenue where they first met.  At times, we see a guy carrying a girl on his back during rainy days especially if she does not want her new prada shoes to be ruined by the flood.  In Korea and Thailand, the most romantic scenes are often portrayed during the ‘piggy back’ sequence.  I bet you remember this scenes:

Hit Korea-novela Kim SamSoon
a scene from “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” starring Mario Maurer

but how about a guy carrying another guy on his back.

a guy from work posted a picture on his FB and he tagged it “Boyfie”.  

and they say they are just “friends” – as in GOOD FRIENDS

Im smelling something “fishy”

yeah they are friends, like the guys i posted below:

5 handy checklist bago ka ma fall-in-LOVE


Alam ko… super gusto mo na yung bagong guy sa work or sa class nyo.  Na sa tuwing dadaan siya sa harapan mo ay parang nag-slow motion ang bawat segundo at sa di mawaring kadahilanan ‘ a sudden gush of wind blows your hair’.  Minsan mo na siyang nakausap at muntik ka ng matunaw dahil SIYA NA NGA BEKI ang pinakahihintay hintay and dinadalangin sa poong maykapal kaya naman kahit may kalyo na ang mga tuhod mo, go ka pa rin sa pagrorosaryo.

Kaya eto ka na…handing handa na to GIVE LOVE A CHANCE…

PERO HEP HEP HEP… bago ang lahat.  Basahin mo muna itong LIMANG CHECKLIST na hinanda ko para sayo bago ka magpaka-lukaret sa bago mong BOY TOY.


1. Know him well. Baka naghahanap lang siya ng ‘kalinga’ habang hindi sila OK ng EX niya.  Mahirap naman na nagkapag-invest ka ng bonga sa bago mong Papa – financially and emotionally, eh bigla ka niyang iwanan dahil nagkabalikan sila ng dati niyang dyowa.  Pero have no fear mare, dahil madaling malaman ang ganitong lalaki.  Yung mga tipong always BIDA BEST ang mga EX nila sa lahat ng conversation nyo and to think one week pa lang silang kabre-break.  Pag ganito ang sitwasyon, ayyyyy…scary.


2. Ingat sa mga PA-SWEET or PA-YUMMY. Naku po ang dami nyan and I know someone sa work na ganyan.  Huwag na huwag magpapagoyo sa mga ‘PA-FALL’ na tao.  Kuwidaw ka sa mga taong ganyan dahil imbes sa Bed of Roses ka bumagsak eh sa BANGIN ka niya itulak.  Ito yung mga taong ang tawag ko ay ‘PATAKAM’. In fact, may mga ganitong mga STRAIGHT na gustong may mga admirers dahil they feel somehow relevant.  Medyo mahirap ma-detect ang mga ganito.  I even call them ‘SMOOTH OPERATOR’.  Aalam nila kung saan ka nila lilinlangin and alam nila agad ang mga weakness mo.  Be very afraid mare.


3. Know something about his past. Halungkatin ang history ng lolo mo.  Malay mo, isa lang pala itong revenge sa dating dyowa niya na umiwan sa kanya.


4.  Know your status. Dahil hindi sa lahat ng oras ay kailangan ng ‘RELASYON’


5.  Control your feelings, suppress if necessary. Dahil hindi lahat ng maganda sa pakiramdam ay ‘TAMA’.  Huwag kang parang hayok na GRAB NA LANG GRAB.  Hindi na baling maghintay ng ilang taon basta ba when you finally meet him ay ISANG BUONG TAO ka na gurl.   Di ba nga ang sabi ‘TRUE LOVE LIES TO PEOPLE WHO KNOWS HOW TO WAIT FOR THE RIGHT TIME’.

much ado about a VAMPIRE


 

 

The ‘twilight’ bug really hits Manila by storm.  I’m not a huge fan and I just watched the film once in DVD but I’m not yet totally hooked.  One of my colleague even bought the book series last Christmas as she breaks the ‘ole piggy bank’.  Poor piggy bank…

Anyway, these text message were forwarded by a friend of mine who enlist a vampire as his ‘ideal man’…I think something is wrong in this sentence…

 

I hope vampires do really exist… If they do, then I wish I’m in love with one who’s also deeply in love with me. 

 

One who’d be fascinated to watch me sleeping. 

One who doesn’t have the courage to stay away from me.

One who would risk everything just to make me safe again. 

One who would save me not because im his prey but im his life

best friend … i love you


 

 

 

 

 

one of my readers from my old blog www.allanworld.i.ph posted who goes by the name,  EARTHY said:

 

 

I can’t believe how perfectly you’ve nailed how I’m feeling right now. I’m in love with my best friend, but he doesn’t love me. And yet I am always there for him whenever he needs me. I just can’t seem to get him out of my life. My friends tell me I need to forget him completely but how do you forget the other half of yourself? How do you pretend that your world isn’t cold and empty without that person in it?

How do you move on?

 

Actually, ilang beses rin naman akong nain-love sa kaibigan.  Based from my previous post, it serves as a living proof of my insane past. Below is just short list of related post.  Feel free to navigate my blog after reading this post.

 

>> THE ART OF CLOSING CHAPTERS

>> of LOVE and FRIENDSHIP…. (here WE go again)

>> a mantra for FRIENDS who fall in love with their BEST FRIENDS…

>> gOODBYE…OLE SAILOR

>> LOVE is CRUEL???

 

its really hard to overcome such feeling.  i mean, ive been there…and i know how hard it is.

 

Parati kayong magkasama at parati niyang binibida yung bagong crush or lover nya. Then iiyak siya dahil iniwanan o kaya ay sinaktan siya…and worst sayo pa hihingi ng payo.  He would gosh over his last nights eye ball and he would give you the blow by blow scenarios that started with a few beers that led to a room in a motel.  Ang masama pa nito, you have to pretend na nasisiyahan or naaliw ka sa mga kwento nya pero sa totoo lang…dumudugo na ng bongang bonga ang puso mo.

 

ITS REALLY HARD. halos iumpog na rin ako ng mga kaibigan ko noon dahil sa kabobohan ko pero ayun pa rin ako….head over heels.  Sari saring payo na rin ang narinig ko from ‘you should learn to move on’ to ‘magkaibigan lang talaga ang tingin nya sa iyo’

 

Ang parati kong sagot sa kanila, ‘sino ba sila at kung ganun ganun na lang kung makapagpayo sila sa akin?’.  Alam ba nila kung ano ang nararamdaman ko ngayon?  Ni sa dulo ng kalingkingan nila, hindi nila alam ang sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

 

Points taken….

 

But the BIG QUESTION is ‘how will you be able to express your affection to a guy na ang tanging tingin nya sayu ay isang kaibigan lang?  Would you be able to face the fact na once you tell him the truth, he would leave you behind?  Would you be able to face the world and move on?  Kaya mo bang masikmura kung ano ang sasabihin nya sayo?  Can you?

 

ARRRRGHHHH! ansakit di ba.

 

there are no easy answer to ‘our’ situation.  ONLY YOU CAN ANSWER YOUR OWN QUESTION.  because it really depends on how you are determined to over come the feeling. 

 

Will you bite the bullet?

Are you ready to face the TRUTH?

 

I have made my decision to finally say my feelings to ‘him’.  I think that was time that I finally admitted that he would never be mine and he belongs to someone else.  I just have to know the truth so I bite the bullet.  Masakit ma-reject because I lost two people when I finally had the strength to tell him that im in love with him – I lost my best friend and my love one.  I think I would rather bleed to death than pass this lifes journey without even knowing what will be the outcome.  I think we all have to hurdle life difficulties to define who we are today.

 

I know the consequences of my action and tangap ko kung anuman ang sasabihin niya.  Eventually, i rely to father time to heal my wounds and forget every sweet memories ive had with him.