#newbeginnings … it starts with opening the door.

#newbeginnings #newyear … sometimes it’s scary and almost frightening to step forward. We don’t know what life brings to the table and how will it turn out once you take the first step. But then again life is all about #movingforward … just #keeponswimming and life may #surprise you. These #changes are part of our life and we got to see what is in store for us otherwise we will be stuck on the same room while others has explored other areas of the house. 

Just because im #gay! #Judgemental society


More terrible news from a friend who passed away.

Earlier i found the cause of death. He died due to pneumonia which led to a series of complications.  I also found out that he resigned last February and therefore he is not eligible with the company insurance – a month before he passed away. But the medical benefits was placed in good use and he overutilized Intellicares services.  The remaining balance that he owe was due to the fact the he sold the iphone he won last Christmas which compensates the rest of his finances.

What really bothers me is how rumors roam around, pass from one mouth to another. Conclusions without basis.

Im a gay man and its sad to hear that your friends has too much to say without asking for more infomation.   The guy doesnt have AIDS… he died because of Pneumonia.  Period.

I wonder if i was the one who passed away? What would they think about me?  Would i be tongue slashed because of some unknown reason and link my tragic death to AIDS… just because im gay!

And what IF he really passed away due to AIDS.  He is just a victim of a random Russian roulette by a sad soul who wants to color the town RED with revenge.  It is not our duty to judge just because he had sex.  Anyone – straight or gay can be infected by the killer disease. It walks amongst us and there is no way to detect it.  We dont havr x-ray visions that only Clark Kent has!

Why dont we just celebrate his life?  Why dont we just talk about his fabulous life and how he struggled to get out from the closet! How strong and courageous he is in dealing with adversity.

Sad… so sad

I got #mail

I got a private message from one of the indie actors that I once featured on my blog.  He was asking if I could delete all of his pictures I tagged on my blog.  He did properly introduced him self as Will Sandejas.  His message found below:

I did responded and uttered “you know for a fact that i’m not the only one who featured you on their blogs..”

He politely answered “oo nga po eh…” and said “ iniisa isa ko na nga po sila”

I just finished editing 6 posts that shows his pictures and a post that I kept private.  I fully understand his dilemma but we are on a cyberage of what you may have done in the past may no longer be deleted.  Deep in my heart, I hope for the best – for Will’s family, friends and his inner peace.

 –        Think of Aj

is that #bakla after you?

my FB friend has an interesting post in his account.  Its a full article by Andy Singer which i plan to re-post on my blog.  I will not rewrite the whole article to preserve its integrity and its copyright as all accolades should go forward to the real writer.  I hope you could share this with your straight friends a\who secretly suffer with Homophobia …  they dont know it yet but after reading this article, i bet they will identify their self.


When FEAR knocks …

Wikepedia defines FEAR as a distressing negative emotion induced by a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger. In short, fear is the ability to recognize danger and flee from it or confront it, also known as the Fight or Flight response.

A negative feeling that succumbs any individual if we are faced by a scary situation.  Fear is applied on everyday situations but often associated with paranormal images.  I have read it somewhere ‘Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger—if we couldn’t feel it, we couldn’t protect ourselves from legitimate threats”.  … TRUE!

One great example:


YUP!  I am.  I fear that i dont know how to fall in love and be loved.  Its tragic!!!!  I’m too comfortable playing single and feared the company of others.  Will i suck on having a relationship?  I dont want to be hurt again!  I’d rather go to my corner and play with my shadow.  Will he ever see me?  Will he even try to look for me? Is he still looking for me?  Fear of the things that i dont know and if ill ever fall in love again.

We are constantly living in fear.  Fear of the things that we don’t know and the things that is yet to come.  But i guess somehow fear is not that bad after all.  It gives you the ability to believe on something higher than anyone else. HE can iron out things we may not know.. things that is yet to come but too scared to face – instead we hide behind our shadows of doubt.  Why are we we so pessimistic?  Is it because that we don’t want to be hurt?  Are we afraid of our own shadows that we fail to look on the other side of the coin?

Fear gives you the ability to feel alive.  Without it, then we maybe living in an ‘eye for eye’ society.  Fear gives you the comfort that something needs to be done.  It gives you the extra push to kick off a habit because your afraid what it may do to you in the long run.  Fear gives you the ability to fly.  It serves as the guiding force between you wings and reality.  Fear gives you the ability conquer fear itself.  It serves as a bulletproof when doubt sets in.  We wont know what life may bring us not unless we let go.


Learning Life 101 (finale)


I’ve heard its possible to grow up,

I’ve just never met anyone who’s done it.

Were all like children… we throw tantrums when things don’t go our way;

we cry in our rooms when the pain gets too tough;

we yearn for innocence when life throws reality,

and like children… we hope and keep on hoping


At times I’m sad about what’s going on in my life…

but I always believe in one permanent fact:

everything changes and tomorrow is definitely different… am hoping that it’ll be different


I don’t believe in the word ‘REGRET’, I believe in the phrase ‘I screwed up, I learned from it and hope for the best’


Trials in life are like washing machines.

They twist us, spin us and knock us around

but in the end, we come out cleaner, brighter and better than before


You can’t predict what gonna happen…but sometimes the thing you didn’t expect is what you really wanted after all.

Maybe the best thing to do is stop trying to figure out where you’re going and just enjoy where you’re at.


Its better not to mind the things that depresses you.

Because it only makes you weak inside and out.

There’s a lot of things you can give your time into.

Don’t get stuck with the things that ruins your day…

just chill and live your life


Whenever you feel weak, remember those who make you stronger

& whenever you start to doubt yourself, remember those who believe in you


Sometimes we put too much passion on the biggest dreams and priorities in life that we fail to love the smallest pleasures from simple things.

We search so much for the right choices,

for the right paths to walk through,

for the right reasons…

but life isn’t about searching for the right things that can be found…

it is about letting the unexpected happen and finding things you never searched for.


In  tough times, stay motivated by looking at how far you’ve come, rather than how far you have to  go. Always count your blessings, not what’s missing.


Dont regret the things you’ve done.

Regret the things you didnt do when you had the chance.


When life is hard to deal with, just remember thisnever give reason to stop and be quiet but remember, a brave soldier also know when to wave his white flag

Learning Life 101 (part 7)

A great life is not about routine but doing something rare.
Laugh at your mistakes but learn from them.
Have fun with your difficulties but overcome them
The paradox of lie: everybody wants to live a long life, but nobody wants to get old.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
And nobody seems to realize that in our life’s journey no one has ever reached the finish line … ALIVE!! 
Seek the highest wisdom not by arguments of words but by perfection of our life… not by speech but by faith that comes from simplicity of the heart.
Unconsciously, we choose how we see people: when we like someone, we are tolerant.
When we don’t, we focus on their faults.
 Its not other peoples true persona that determines how we feel about them…its our attitude.
Have the courage to be the person you want to be . it doesn’t matter how crazy your dream is. It is your life, you and only you can dictate how to live it. Life it your way, laugh or smile everytime you have the chance. Keep your cool, face life with youthful optimism and mature understanding. Stay safe but learn to take risks sometimes. Try out something new once in a while so you don’t stagnate. You are the master of your fate and the captain of your soul. You’re a child of god, therefore you are loved and beautiful. Live life to the fullest
In life we always search for answers because we want to prove ourselves that we made the right decisions but the truth is we cant search for whats not there. Things happen because its meant to happen.
That’s why we forgive people even if they hurt us, we love people who don’t love us and we smile despite every painful crash in our hearts. At the end of the day the lessons you get are the answers to your decisions
In your life, youll take note of a lot of people.
 Ones with whom you shared something special, who will always mean something. Your 1st kiss, first love, the one who 1st broke your heart, the one you’ll put on pedestal, the one your with right now and the who got away.
That person with whom everything was perfect but timing was just wrong. No fault in the person, no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just don’t fall the right way
Our lives are books… each day is a page. We cant erase what has already been written, but we can always try to make the next page better
The measure of a matured person is not how well they prepare for everything to go right but on how they stand up and move on after everything goes wrong
I used to think that GOD’s gifts were on shelves one above another…the older we get and the taller we grow, the easier we can reach them.
Now I realize that GOD’s gift are on shelves one beneath another… the lower we stoop the more we get. It is good deeds we do, the kind words we speak, the love we give and the humility we show that help us stoop down tofind our real treasures
I’ve heard its possible to grow up, ive just never met anyone who’s done it. Were all like children…we throw tantrums when things don’t go our way, we cry in our rooms when the pain gets too tough, we yearn for innocence when life throws reality, and like children…we hope..and keep on hoping