#hugotpamore recipe: how to make a #GrahamCake


First ibuhos ang durog na graham cake sa isang lalagyan.   Yung durog ang gamitin mas maganda.  Pero ok rin naman kahit yung biskwit.  Durugin na lang parang pagdurog mo sa puso ko.  Dun ka nga ata magaling… dahil kayang kaya mong durugin ang lahat ng pagtangi ko.

After ibuhos mo na ang pinaghalong kondensada at creamer.  Parang yung mga panaginip ko na unti unting nalusaw dahil nakita ko pityur mo may kasama kang iba.  Anu ba ako… oo nga pala di naman tayo.  Tapos ipatong mo na yung mga natirang graham. Then ibuhos mo uli yung kondensada at creamer. Patong patong. Bakit? Di ako nagseselos. Patong patong lang ang nararamdaman ko.  Di ko alam kung ipagpapatuloy ko pa itong nararamdaman ko or iiwasan na lang kita.  Make sure ilagay mo sa ref yang graham cake… o ilagay mo na lang dyan sa puso.  Pareho lang naman yun.  Baka nga mas malamig pa dyan sa puso mo eh

An open letter of a #hopeless #romantic

dear cupid,

Its been a while since i last sent you a letter.  I may have been traumatized with the last guy you sent me.  Yup its true, its a whirlwind romance but he threw me in a loop and now i don’t know if ill ever recover.

I’m not choosy, just to lay my cards straight.  it just so happen that i’m trying to find a chemistry to the next fellow who sends SMS / IM or message but the pizzas is simply not there.  Plus, im bottom and i’m trying to find the next eligible TOP but they are too low in numbers.  Some pretend they are TOP but low and behold – lies of all lies, they are “FREAKINLY BOTTOM”.  I don’t think that we can spell “happy ever after” if we both were looking for TOP.  I guess this house can only accommodate ONE BOTTOM and that’s me.

true… i admit Mr. Cupid.  IM AFRAID!

my friends often wonder, why?

there’s no harm being single.  as for me, the last time i had a serious relationship was… ( thinking… i forgot na).  Just like what Jack of Will and Grace often said “if you have to think for at least 3 seconds then that’s too long ago”

admittedly… i am terrified.  I hate the fact of opening myself to another person and he wont reciprocate my feelings.  I’m horrified of the things i’m about to feel and at the end of the line – he will end up leaving me just like my last serious relationship.  I’m mortified by the fact that i am not good enough; not well endowed enough; not hunkier  that the other guy in PR or gorgeous than that fellow in Facebook.

honestly, i don’t know how to choose the right guy.  I just let destiny fill in the gap but i don’t think that she is helping me as well.

I just hoped that he would start knocking on my door … uttering “hey just saw you downstairs, i just cant help but wonder if i can get you number…”

But then again, this is the Philippines and i’mnot living in Florida or San Francisco where gays are far more forward with their feelings.  Am i doomed Mr. Cupid… or will i just take care of 9 cats and play solitaire till i finally close my eyes … FOREVER.

Mortified and horrified with my future… but i guess, i would be the last single gay guy in Valenzuela.

Yours truly,



piggy back ride with “boyfie”

its what we call piggy back ride.

Normally, we see this between a father and his son while having fun at the park or in a pool.  Often, straight men and women does this occasionally while strolling on their favorite avenue where they first met.  At times, we see a guy carrying a girl on his back during rainy days especially if she does not want her new prada shoes to be ruined by the flood.  In Korea and Thailand, the most romantic scenes are often portrayed during the ‘piggy back’ sequence.  I bet you remember this scenes:

Hit Korea-novela Kim SamSoon
a scene from “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” starring Mario Maurer

but how about a guy carrying another guy on his back.

a guy from work posted a picture on his FB and he tagged it “Boyfie”.  

and they say they are just “friends” – as in GOOD FRIENDS

Im smelling something “fishy”

yeah they are friends, like the guys i posted below:

5 handy checklist bago ka ma fall-in-LOVE

Alam ko… super gusto mo na yung bagong guy sa work or sa class nyo.  Na sa tuwing dadaan siya sa harapan mo ay parang nag-slow motion ang bawat segundo at sa di mawaring kadahilanan ‘ a sudden gush of wind blows your hair’.  Minsan mo na siyang nakausap at muntik ka ng matunaw dahil SIYA NA NGA BEKI ang pinakahihintay hintay and dinadalangin sa poong maykapal kaya naman kahit may kalyo na ang mga tuhod mo, go ka pa rin sa pagrorosaryo.

Kaya eto ka na…handing handa na to GIVE LOVE A CHANCE…

PERO HEP HEP HEP… bago ang lahat.  Basahin mo muna itong LIMANG CHECKLIST na hinanda ko para sayo bago ka magpaka-lukaret sa bago mong BOY TOY.

1. Know him well. Baka naghahanap lang siya ng ‘kalinga’ habang hindi sila OK ng EX niya.  Mahirap naman na nagkapag-invest ka ng bonga sa bago mong Papa – financially and emotionally, eh bigla ka niyang iwanan dahil nagkabalikan sila ng dati niyang dyowa.  Pero have no fear mare, dahil madaling malaman ang ganitong lalaki.  Yung mga tipong always BIDA BEST ang mga EX nila sa lahat ng conversation nyo and to think one week pa lang silang kabre-break.  Pag ganito ang sitwasyon, ayyyyy…scary.

2. Ingat sa mga PA-SWEET or PA-YUMMY. Naku po ang dami nyan and I know someone sa work na ganyan.  Huwag na huwag magpapagoyo sa mga ‘PA-FALL’ na tao.  Kuwidaw ka sa mga taong ganyan dahil imbes sa Bed of Roses ka bumagsak eh sa BANGIN ka niya itulak.  Ito yung mga taong ang tawag ko ay ‘PATAKAM’. In fact, may mga ganitong mga STRAIGHT na gustong may mga admirers dahil they feel somehow relevant.  Medyo mahirap ma-detect ang mga ganito.  I even call them ‘SMOOTH OPERATOR’.  Aalam nila kung saan ka nila lilinlangin and alam nila agad ang mga weakness mo.  Be very afraid mare.

3. Know something about his past. Halungkatin ang history ng lolo mo.  Malay mo, isa lang pala itong revenge sa dating dyowa niya na umiwan sa kanya.

4.  Know your status. Dahil hindi sa lahat ng oras ay kailangan ng ‘RELASYON’

5.  Control your feelings, suppress if necessary. Dahil hindi lahat ng maganda sa pakiramdam ay ‘TAMA’.  Huwag kang parang hayok na GRAB NA LANG GRAB.  Hindi na baling maghintay ng ilang taon basta ba when you finally meet him ay ISANG BUONG TAO ka na gurl.   Di ba nga ang sabi ‘TRUE LOVE LIES TO PEOPLE WHO KNOWS HOW TO WAIT FOR THE RIGHT TIME’.

IM IN LOVE AND I HATE IT!! Will anyone catch me if i FALL?

IM IN LOVE…and i hate this feeling.

i’m not used to it and i am afraid that if ill continue with this ‘nonsense‘ i may not be able to control myself.

he is a new guy from work and from the first time i saw him, i can’t control myself. i’ve got to know him and i need to know his cellphone number.  So even if my co-workers are not accustomed of my ‘aggressive’ nature, i immediately asked for his digits.  he then responded that ill be the one to give my number and he will text me once he got home. i rushed to pick a tissue off from my pocket and wrote down my cell number and at the back of my head, hoping he will stay true to his words.but, i guess,  luck failed to knock on my doorsteps that day.  he never texted back.

i anticipated his ‘smile’ on the next day but someone told me that his training already begun so chances are, if he passed, i would see him after 3 to 4 months.

i consider the fact that ‘im rejected’ and i may no longer able to see him again.

about two weeks ago, a familiar smile has passed by me.  i may have forgotten him since i have been able to mend a tiny bump in my heart.  after writing the most current ‘the art of letting go’ series, i finally realized that my heart is healed.

he said ‘ hey, your AJ right?’

at first, i did’nt recognized him.  i casually answered ‘yes… i am…’ i was thinking that i may have had sent a feedback to this agent that’s why he is asking my name.   darn, i forgot to bring my pink batton.  i have nothing on my hand to defend myself.  well, i could always scream like hell… so bring it on.  i’m on my fighting mode by that time then….

he said ‘do you still remember me? you gave me your number…’

finally, the little machines inside my head finally started to turn and my heart misses a beat. i just simply said ‘aahh… yes. i know.  you didnt texted back. i get it.  you dont need to worry. im over it.  see you’

the nerve of these guy.  i finally moved on.  he just came back to blow the bubble i have created. im vulnerable…again. FCUK!

but i cant resist his smile.  his charm that sweeps me off my feet.  the eyes that shows hope and sincerity but then, it seems he is hiding a certain sadness that i cant place my wet finger.  who can resist? im just human… so i give in.

he does explained why he lost my number and he immediately asked it once again.  now, we are text buddies … as a coworker and a friend.  he said he is straight and shows all signs that im just a friend.  he actually has a crush on one of my girl friends. arrrggghhhhhh!!!!!

yup im hurt and thats why i wanted to end this nasty feeling …fast I need to get off and snap out of it before i loose my wits

much ado about a VAMPIRE



The ‘twilight’ bug really hits Manila by storm.  I’m not a huge fan and I just watched the film once in DVD but I’m not yet totally hooked.  One of my colleague even bought the book series last Christmas as she breaks the ‘ole piggy bank’.  Poor piggy bank…

Anyway, these text message were forwarded by a friend of mine who enlist a vampire as his ‘ideal man’…I think something is wrong in this sentence…


I hope vampires do really exist… If they do, then I wish I’m in love with one who’s also deeply in love with me. 


One who’d be fascinated to watch me sleeping. 

One who doesn’t have the courage to stay away from me.

One who would risk everything just to make me safe again. 

One who would save me not because im his prey but im his life

WANTED: Boyfriend

Gays often surf the net for one purpose: finding a mate.  Almost everyone I know is trying to find the inevitable ‘better half’ (even guys who are committed are trying their luck as well).  I guess in cyberspace, you can be whoever you wanted to be.  We create a make believe persona – a persona who we would wanted to be if we have had the chance.


A make believe fantasy off from the pages of a magazine – macho, matikas, matangkad, dark, drop dead gorgeous, 6-pack abs, shiny white teeth, blue eyes, flawless, mala-Adonis na physique. 


Profile pictures were enhanced to its utmost aesthetic standard – from adobe to corel. We even pose neither tilted nor trying to show off our ‘tool’.  Guys who have the body show off their chest and abs and guys who have looks focus on their selling points.




My straight friends often told me that being gay is FUN.  Well, hindi pa nila nararamdaman to live a life of a gay guy.  Mabuti pa ang straight – practical.  As long as they knew that the guy can give the life she dreamed of in the future, ok na.  But in the gay world, aside from the fact that you should be successful financially, you should also have jaw-dropping good looks and a body to die for.  Ang hanap talaga ay si SUPERMAN.


I’m now 29 and i am joining the 30’s bandwagon soon.  Maturity has been honed and age seems to be slapping my forehead.  My hair is thinning on top and my belly is earning a millimeter or two.  It’s hard to shed of those baby fats at this point of time as they seem to stay in your skin for the rest of your life.  In short, hindi ako yung tipo nila. 




Mahaba ang baba






My tummy is bigger than my chest.  In short parang bubuli…


Hindi masyadong flawless




No money to show off


Hayyyy buhay!!!!  So I learned to admit the fact and try to embrace reality.  Having a lover, boyfriend, lifetime partner (whatever you may define it) ONLY belongs to cover boys and the rich guys.  For people like me, well mag-tiyaga na lang magmasid and mangarap.  So to fight the sadness I feel in my heart most especially in a rainy day like this, I admitted the fact that I may not have the relationship i have been longing for.


If only these guys could learn to see beyond the tapestry of aesthetics and look closely to thy heart.  A heart who would love them faithfully until that time comes when they are no longer beautiful or ‘delicious’ in the eye of their followers.  When they start to feel that gravity takes its toll and all their precious parts are falling one after another. 


A guy, like me, who will continue holding their hand till eternity,  A guy like me who would still feel the luckiest guy in the face of the earth every morning when you feel vulnerable.  Every morning wherein no additional frill, no perfume, no make-up and ONLY nature’s gift are plastered all over.


A guy, like me, who would look in thy eyes and utter ‘I love you’ even if a wrinkle starts to ruin thy pretty face.


This is me.  All of  me.