#openletter to #mama


May 22 2018. It’s your Nth birthday. Honestly I stop counting your age and the years when you finally say #goodbye. But I won’t forget your birthday until the day when I say “Hi Ma, kumusta?”

I stop myself in writing melodramatic messages yesterday, knowing that there are no #instagram, #facebook or any social media sites in heaven. It’s crazy, you can’t even read it so why bother. Instead, I kept myself busy. Trying to get through the day. But my plan is a huge #failure. Cause here I am, writing messages that you won’t be able to read.

I miss you Mama. Sobra! I miss talking to you every single day. Sometimes I caught myself counting the days and hours … wishing my day ends and looking forward to see you again. I miss you mama.

You’re the only person I could talk to about my frustrations and aspirations. I could run to whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on. You’re the only person I could be honest with my feelings. The only person who knew me inside out. The world may judge and throw things at me but I kept myself strong enough to keep me sane. Not everyone knew me and it’s a lonely place to live in. Sometimes I kept on thinking that I’m worthless with the things they say behind my back but I guess – this is what I deserve. This is my kind of hell.

Mama… I’m sorry if I had disappointed you in all aspects of my decision making. I know I’m not the son you wish you had. I’m a huge disappointment. I hate the fact that I can’t give you the grandchildren you dreamt of. I can’t even find a partner of my own who can love me of who and what I am. I guess this face .. a face that only mothers could love.

But I tried to be a better person. Even if I can’t face another day, I tried to wake up and fight for my everyday battle. My sister, niece and nephew may need me and I wanted to make sure that I’m strong enough when they run to me. I hide behind the mask. Behind it … I’m also trying to fight my own demons. I need help. I needed someone who could understand me and listen. Just simply listen to me. Mama… when will you knock on my door and bring me with you.

I miss you mama. I bought you a cake. I’ll eat the rest of it and cry in silence

My own brand of #MothersDay


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Im not a mother.. and i dont know if ill ever be a father

But i was overwhelmed with your mothers day greetings.  The warm hugs, delightful greetings and enchanting messages i got personally and through cyberspace are truly overwhelming.

I dont know how true mothers do it… to give birth and raise a kid to his/her maturity.  How to explain where babies came from and over all how to create a new individual with right ounce of courage, positivity and love who respects others amidst its difference.

Thats why im so thankful that others see me as a mother.  I am humbled and i felt im not worthy of such title.  Im not a complete person but i try my best to keep my heads up and give what i can to 2 nephews and 2 nieces (plus my sister which i adore).

I dont talk this much in person but i have to express my thoughts on other ways just to let my family know how much i adore them.  I just hope they value what i can give now and what i can give tommorow.

I hope that as i get older… youll be there to carry me

MAMA, THIS MAKES MAH TEMPERATURE HIGH: featuring Richard Francisco Solano


Another stand out amongst the recently concluded Adam & Steve Competition held in ‘The Library’ is Richard Francisco Solano.  I found his account in FB but it does not say anything much about him.  But based on some of the comments i read from his tagged pictures – he is still a student.  He may have joined a few competitions and he won some but then again his profile does not say much.  He does looks like Kwon Sang-Woo especially with his physique but he is our very own Filipino version.  If you want to add him as a friend, here’s the link guys: https://www.facebook.com/richard.solano.127/about

 

MAMA, THIS MAKES MAH TEMPERATURE HIGH: featuring Jheem Kazumi


JHEEM KAZUMI: that is his name

I stumbled upon this guy when im browsing some of my enlisted friends in FB.  I think the guy is a producer of a beauty competition and Jheem Kazumi is a candidate of the recently concluded Adam & Eve Competition.  He is one of the stand outs so i might as well click his picture to know more about him.  

After clicking and clicking my way, i stumbled upon his FB page and …voila.  Found him!

 

His profile does not say much about him except for the fact that he is living in manila and born April 11, 1993.  So as i blog this post, he just turned 20 last April.  But judging with his albums, he had joined numerous male competition such Mr. & Ms. Sexy Summer 2013,  Campus Hunks 2013, Hari ng Pilipinas. Metro Hunk Fantasy,  Mr. and Ms. Code Bikini Open 2013 and the list goes on and on.  I cant blame him,  with his 6 pack abs and a gorgeous smile to boot, he can kick the other candidates and bring home the bacon.  To know more about him, heres the link on his FB page: https://www.facebook.com/jhim.elauria.1/about.  What i do know is, he gained a fan out of me and i will support him with every endeavor he will get himself into – i mean the online voting stuff plus the free ads on my blog.  

kinky file presents: “kamay lang ang takip”


 

Sooooo hhooooottttt

and here are some of the  bravest pictures of Asian Man wearing nothing at all

MAMA, THIS MAKES MAH TEMPERATURE HIGH: featuring Ken Jung


Browsing through my facebook news reel, i stumbled upon this hunk who lives Tan Hoi, Binh Tri Thien, Vietnam.  The only thing i know is his name (Ken Jung) and his hometown.  Nothing is written in his profile so i guess he is a poser.  But anyway, he may have been a poser or the real deal… but deyyymmm his God-like body is ‘to-die-for”.  I posted some of his pictures below and i bet you’ll love him like i do.

Want to add him on your FB, here’s the link: https://www.facebook.com/ken.jung.79274

 

MAMA, THIS MAKES MAH TEMPERATURE HIGH: featuring Kenneth Paul Salva


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“His royal hunkness” has a wide range of photo album that showcases hot men in the Philippines which i cant help but oggle and fantasize.  So i cant help but feature ‘Kenneth Paul Salva’ – an underwear model and actor.  Tried to access his account but i bet its retricted for his friends and family.   I hope that i could share some info …sad ;-(.   (dear readers, if you can share some thing about him, dont hesitate to write down your comment on the box shown below).  Anyhow, here are some of his photos shared by ‘His Royal Hunkness’ (thank – aj) …enjoy

 

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