May 22 2018. It’s your Nth birthday. Honestly I stop counting your age and the years when you finally say #goodbye. But I won’t forget your birthday until the day when I say “Hi Ma, kumusta?”
I stop myself in writing melodramatic messages yesterday, knowing that there are no #instagram, #facebook or any social media sites in heaven. It’s crazy, you can’t even read it so why bother. Instead, I kept myself busy. Trying to get through the day. But my plan is a huge #failure. Cause here I am, writing messages that you won’t be able to read.
I miss you Mama. Sobra! I miss talking to you every single day. Sometimes I caught myself counting the days and hours … wishing my day ends and looking forward to see you again. I miss you mama.
You’re the only person I could talk to about my frustrations and aspirations. I could run to whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on. You’re the only person I could be honest with my feelings. The only person who knew me inside out. The world may judge and throw things at me but I kept myself strong enough to keep me sane. Not everyone knew me and it’s a lonely place to live in. Sometimes I kept on thinking that I’m worthless with the things they say behind my back but I guess – this is what I deserve. This is my kind of hell.
Mama… I’m sorry if I had disappointed you in all aspects of my decision making. I know I’m not the son you wish you had. I’m a huge disappointment. I hate the fact that I can’t give you the grandchildren you dreamt of. I can’t even find a partner of my own who can love me of who and what I am. I guess this face .. a face that only mothers could love.
But I tried to be a better person. Even if I can’t face another day, I tried to wake up and fight for my everyday battle. My sister, niece and nephew may need me and I wanted to make sure that I’m strong enough when they run to me. I hide behind the mask. Behind it … I’m also trying to fight my own demons. I need help. I needed someone who could understand me and listen. Just simply listen to me. Mama… when will you knock on my door and bring me with you.
I miss you mama. I bought you a cake. I’ll eat the rest of it and cry in silence
Why do we celebrate #pridemonth ?
Hit back by asking “straight people should be thankful they don’t need one”. The #pride month roots back from the oppressive Civil Rights Movement. There were “Annual Reminder” marches as early as 1965, which were meant to be a public reminder that the #LGBT community didn’t enjoy the same basic civil rights as other people. But the watershed moment of the modern pride movement is widely considered the #Stonewall Riots. In the 1960s, due to laws prohibiting public sexuality, there were limited options for #queer folk and raids of #gay and #lesbian establishments were common.
During 80s and early 90s, the only local gay icon I know is Pacifica Falayfay. Dolphy’s iconic performance has ticked the Filipino gay character as #parlorista with a heart of gold. Though his moving performance has paved the way to bring #LGBTQ issues, there is more to #gaylife aside from what I see in theaters.
I stand strongly to my sexuality and if #millenialpink does not understand our #hugot due to”generation gap”… then let me simply say …
“You won’t enjoy the #liberty to shout out your feelings to the world without the #thunderbeki who fought for you basic rights to #love and #expressyourself . #respect
#lgbt🌈 #lgbtpride #queerasfolk #labanbading #bading #bakla #shokla #rainbowbattle #rainbow #gaylife #gaypride #lovewins #baklaako #gaylifematters<<
Walang sino man ang makapagsasabing alipin ka dahil ikaw ang may hawak ng sarili mong tadhana.
Ikaw, higit kanino man ang makakapagsabi ng iyong kinabukasan. Hindi nakasalalay sa iilan at sa isang tao… kahit na siya pa ang lalake sa mga panaginip mo.
Ikaw Ay ikaw. #malaya
#happyindependenceday #pinoygay #kalayaan101 #hugot101 #singlegayguy #diaryofasinglegayguy
🚹Raven Malubay-Jugueta Bermudez
Facebook just celebrated its 10 years anniversary and one way of celebrating such phenomenal success that last for more than a decade, they treated their followers and FB users with a video that looks back on our so-called life. I wanted to post it in my blog but im no techie (anyone who could help me please)
I can’t say that what I gone through is a “bed of roses”. Ive been to hell and back and definitely, im still working my ass-off to be a “better” me. Im not perfect, I make mistakes in the past – I only hope that if ever it bites me once again… im prepared to fight back. But there are NO REGRETS. I never regretted any single moment. It makes me what I am today and if ever people judge me of they see in facebook, what they read on this blog and what they had discovered in cyberspace… I took them all accounted as who I am.
On the first place, who are they to judge me. They don’t feed my family, I don’t ask a single shilling out from their pocket. My past may have been jaded and dark but what is important is what I am NOW. Without those single moments, I won’t get any wiser – I won’t be here.